A Romantic Birthday Dinner Under the Stars and a Trip 3 Years in the Making

So I just turned 32 a little over a week ago and I think it was my first birthday out of the US. I felt a lot of care from back home in the form of emails/texts/fb/whatsapp which I so appreciated, but I didn’t have any plans to celebrate in Cambodia, which I was okay with. I don’t have any go to spots, and I did like just hanging out with the boys so I was planning on having a pretty low-key birthday. But Michael and the boys had a different plan.

The day started like any other, with me going to the coffee stand at the Buddhist temple, getting my café duk dakou taggoh (iced coffee with condensed milk) and doing some reading/journaling. But when I went to pay, Heng (the girl who works at the stand) said I couldn’t pay. I thought she was just being really nice, and thought nothing of it.

When I got back to school, Michael asked how my coffee was and I told him it was “chingan na” (very tasty), per usual but it was weird that Heng didn’t charge me. He was like,  “Oh good, I stopped by this morning to pay for your coffee already since it’s your birthday. You shouldn’t have to pay for anything on your birthday.”

But Michael’s sweetness didn’t stop there.

He told me after lunch that we’d be getting a massage, and then we’d go to the super fancy Aeon mall to do some window-shopping. The massage was great. It included a spa so we steamed/sauna’d/jaccuzi’d for an hour before getting our hour-long massage. All for $6! Pretty great.

Aeon mall was super fancy, and it definitely reminded me of being in an American mall, prices included. My friend Mark said that Phnom Penh has two economies and going to Aeon made that a little more real. A standard home-cooked dinner for the 5 of us at home will cost us about $2 total. At Aeon mall, you’ll find a cup of coffee for $5 – just really interesting to observe the two extremes in such close quarters.

After window-shopping, we drove back to our place where the boys (and one of my students, Rena) were cooking a dish for a potluck at our friend Jong Hao’s house. I knew we were planning on having this potluck, but I didn’t realize how much of it was centered on my birthday. We got out to his place, which is a little more remote. We’d eaten there before and we normally just eat in the hallway, but Michael wanted to make it a little more special, so he proposed we sit out in the field. There were no streetlights, so getting everything set up in the field was fun to say the least, especially moving the few-hundred pound wooden table that would seat us all. But it was such a great idea. We sat in the field, lit a few candles, put on bug spray (this part was just me since I was the fresh meat from afar), and had such a fun time eating and laughing. I’m still learning Khmer, so I probably understand 5% of what is said, but the beauty of sharing a meal with people is that you’re still connecting even without words.

The other special treat the boys were excited to share with me was called Kaylaka. It was a $1.25 bottle of whiskey that was branded “the wrestler whiskey” because there was a shiny wrestler on the bottle’s label. Two things about this whiskey: 1. $1.25?! For a bottle?!?! Crazy, and 2. That’s not even the cheapest bottle we’ve had! The week before, we had a whiskey called Alexand (pronounced “Aleshawn” in a fancy voice, at least to us) which was $.75 a bottle. So we really busted out the good stuff for my birthday.

As I was sitting out in the field with those boys for my birthday, I caught myself thinking how awesome this experience was. And how thoughtful and caring it was for all of the guys to plan a day for me, having only known me for about 5 weeks. I made a mental note to remember that feeling because it was really special and unique and something I probably wouldn’t experience exactly the same way again.

OK two more surprises before I move on. To make my night extra special, the boys surprised me by making a cake. Not a normal cake, though. They scrambled some eggs and put a candle in the middle, which is now near the top of my favorite birthday desserts. Secondly, one of the boys’ friends, Pisath, invited me to his wedding! I felt honored and am really excited to attend my first Cambodian wedding in February.

(Side note: My students also had a little birthday surprise for me in the form of a cake an a song and birthday cake the previous week. It was really sweet of them because there was a lot of deceit to pull it off. Sina messaged me earlier in the day asking if I would be teaching. I said I would and asked if she wanted to meet. She said no, she just wanted to know if I would be in class, which was weird, but I didn’t really think anything of it. Then in class, one of my other students, Ah Mouy, said she had to leave for some reason that didn’t make sense, but again I was like sure, go ahead. The next thing I knew the lights were turned off and a few students walked in with a cake and candle. Really, really great.)

Awesome...

...surprise...

...from...

...my class!!!

Ambushed!

Potluck, Cambodian style.

Romantic, candlelit dinner.

The infamous $1 Kaylaka!

Such an awesome way to celebrate with new friends.

Egg cake!

fin.

After coming down from the high of special night with Michael and the boys (and the Kaylaka), I immediately took an early morning flight the next day to Chiang Mai. Why Chiang Mai you ask? This has a little backstory to it.

I’ve known Auntie Joyce for a handful of years now (she’ll introduce me as her daughter’s friend, which is when I’ll inevitable interject that we were first introduced because my brother dated her daughter in high school – always a fun nugget to share). We weren’t that close until 5 or so years ago when I reached out to her about her passion to work with children in Thailand. As I had mentioned in a previous post, I had been trying to volunteer overseas for a while and I wanted to pick Auntie Joyce’s brain about her experience and see if it’s something I could possibly fit into.  I was looking at old emails and our first in-person coffee chat about her work was a little over three years ago where we thought it would be such a great experience if I was able to visit her work in Thailand someday, as well as eventually get plugged into an opportunity myself.  A few more cups of coffee and 3+ years later, here we were in Chiang Mai!

I had always wanted to visit Chiang Mai because all of my friends who had been there raved about it. How lush and green it was, the elephants, the different style of Thai food, and the slower pace of life compared to Bangkok. That all was really attractive, but it would have to wait. I was really excited to just experience a week in the shoes of Auntie Joyce and her husband, Uncle Jon, to see their work, as well just as just spend time (and eat many meals!) with them.

I will readily admit that I sometimes over-emote with my choice of words. I’ll very commonly say something is the best whatever when in reality it was pretty good. (Reminds me the Louis CK bit where he overhears someone saying the wings they had were “amazing!” What word is he going to use when Jesus the Lord and Savior returns to earth and plants the new living savior in his belly? He already used the word “amazing” on a basket of chicken wings.)

I tell you this flaw in my personality because I don’t want my description of this week to be (appropriately) brushed off like my other bold claims. I knew it was going to be a really great time visiting, but the most time I had ever spent with either of them was an hour of coffee at a time, not 7 days together living in the same house, so I wasn’t completely sure how the week would turn out.

It turns out spending time Auntie Joyce and Uncle Jon was much more than I could’ve expected. They had the entire week planned out for me so that I could get a taste of what they did for work, and also get a taste of what they eat for dinner. But before we started the week off, we most definitely had to get some tasty street food, so they took me to the famous Sunday walking market where we ate roasted pork neck, banana/nutella waffles and khao soi (which is two of my friends’ favorite dish ever, so I had to get it). And of course, what trip to the night market would be complete without a little $5 foot massage while people watching.

Tasty khao soi.

The highlight of the night was watching a tourist argue over the price of shrimp at the restaurant next door for literally 30 minutes while we got our feet rubbed.

Once we got that eating out of the way (at least for the first night), it was time for a proper introduction to Auntie Joyce’s work at Call2All, which is a Christian organization that trains people to be missionaries around the world. It was actually perfect timing that I visited when I did because it was the week before a huge conference they were hosting and I was able to step in a help with their preparations. I even got to help cook! Oh and we also literally visited every store in Chiang Mai that sells bed sheets, so that’s something.

Auntie Joyce is kind of a jack of all trades/utility player, so it was cool to follow her around and see all the types of work she helped out with. She also has a really calming, wise demeanor so most situations felt a lot more under control and manageable when she helped.

Not quite regulation height. Also, that's Nasukham, who is the boss lady in the kitchen and who always made me laugh. Whenever we called for her, she would respond loudly and deeply, "YEEEESSSSSSS, NASUKHAM IS HERE."

All of Chiang Mai's blankets, right here.

A fun afternoon at a remote coffee shop.

Awesome time with Jiew, who is one of the most giving people I've met.

Random, but I had to post this.

After a couple of days shadowing Auntie Joyce, I was able to visit Uncle Jon’s work, which is at a company called Thai Tribal Crafts (TTC), that specializes in fair trade crafts made by villages surrounding Chiang Mai and pays them a fair, living wage for their crafts. Uncle Jon and his business partner Elias organized a trip for us to visit the Lisu Tribe, which is one of the handful of tribes that makes crafts for TTC. It was a really cool experience to actually visit the homes of individuals who make these crafts (these individuals get to work from home and control their own hours). The women we met with have been making crafts for TTC for over 30 years, so it was really interesting to hear their story over the years. Also, spending a few days with Uncle Jon allowed us time to get to know each other a lot better, which to be honest, I was nervous about beforehand because we were pretty much strangers before this trip, but it was really great having that time together.

Inside TTC.

One of the Lisu villager's home sewing station.

Elias showing the women what they want to design next.

The woman on the left spoke Chinese with Uncle Jon and me!

Snug.

One of the women gave Uncle Jon and I bracelets they sewed as gifts.

Another villager working out of his home.

A two-stringed Asian instrument you say? Bringing me back to my er-hu days!

Visiting some of the villagers in the rice/corn fields.

The final thing that Auntie Joyce and Uncle Jon planned for my stay was to visit a children’s home they’re involved in. The home, called Lighthouse, has 14 kids staying there, and they range from 4-18 years old. Their friend Terra runs the home and it was such a treat for me to visit, play with the kids, and learn more about their stories. It was also really cool to chat with Terra, who has a story that I was able to connect a bit with. She used to work in corporate doing financial analysis, but decided to take some time to travel and figure out what else she might be called to do. After some thought, she sold her house and car, quit her job, and moved to Thailand (without knowing the language) to help in different children’s homes before being asked to start her own, which has been going for 6 years now (they just had their first kid go to University!). I picked her brain a little (OK, a lot), and seeing the way the kids interacted with her, it was so clear to me that she found her calling. She is pretty much the mom/older sister for all 14 kids, which is really a superhuman feat. I really hope I get to stay connected to Terra and her work because even during my short few-hour visit, it was clear to me that she’s doing some really special things transforming these kids’ lives. One more thing: Terra and the kids were so, so, so thoughtful. They heard it was my birthday and so they surprised me with a homemade caked and a little gift bag of Thai snacks. It really was a great night visiting them, and I’m hoping I make it back out there soon.

The awesome Terra leading the kids in some songs, and Woot (who is a really sweet kid) on the guitar.

That's Yusef on the left - quite literally the cutest kid you'll ever meet.

Such a sweet and thoughtful birthday surprise for May, Da, and me.

Yes, that's a giant gummy hot dog in the middle :).

In between being able to follow Auntie Joyce and Uncle Jon around, we of course found time to eat more tasty food (I introduced them to KFC egg tarts, which will now be our shared downfall) and me being the nosy person that I am, I was able to just ask a bunch of questions about their lives and the reasons they’re doing what they’re doing where they’re doing it, and it was so enlightening to me.

Really tasty coconut/corn crepe thing.

BBQ/hot pot with Nu.

One of the weirder foods I've seen. Sweet coconut rice cooked inside bamboo, and you eat it like a banana.

Ok this is a little weirder. Insect eggs.

A big theme that came up during our chats was the idea of redemption and what that looked like in our lives. Both of them were so candid in sharing about painful situations in their lives and how those situations pushed them to places they didn’t ever want to be in, but helped move them to places and perspectives that led them to where they are now, and the ability to help the people they’re helping.  A lot of things in life suck, and not every situation ends happily, but it’s always encouraging to hear people’s stories of coming out the other side with something that can help others who are trying to do the same.

The week went by so fast, which to me is generally a good rule of thumb that I really enjoyed it. I’m so thankful to my two gracious hosts for housing me, making me breakfast, providing tons of laughs, discussing movies, singing Burt Bacharach songs, organizing a week to participate in their lives, oh and washing my underwear. And looking back at Auntie Joyce and my conversations a few years back, it’s a beautiful thing to see our plan come to fruition and be better than we could’ve imagined. I don’t know what word I would use to describe the week, but suffice it to say my time with Auntie Joyce and Uncle Jon was like this basket of chicken wings I once heard about.

  Couldn't have asked for better hosts.